Hello

Alright...  So now you have a pretty good idea about how I operate.  I say one thing, and do something completely different.  I'm a procrastinator.  I'm a forget-er.  I'm a so-called "busy" person.  But really, I'm just totally disorganized.  AND, I DO NOT have my priorities straight.

There.  I said it.

So why did I come back?

Hmmmm.  Good question.  I am back because I don't want to be disorganized anymore.  I want to be doing exactly what I want to be doing. and. nothing. else.  I hate that I've allowed all the other crap! to get in the way of doing what I want.  Oh I'm doing stuff I want.  Don't get me wrong.  But there are bigger rocks that I want to fit in that jar and it's just too. dang. full. of SAND!!!  You know what I'm talking about right?  That jar?  Stephen Covey?  Google it.  Jar of Life.

So, while I figure out how to fit those big rocks into my jar first.  I'll be posting.  Maybe here on the blog.  Maybe somewhere else.  I'll keep you posted.


HA!

I'm sure you all just laughed out loud and said "Ya right.  We won't see her for another 5 years or so."  I guess we shall see.

P.S. I looked this one up for you...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=223&v=6_N_uvq41Pg

So long, Farwell...

First of all, Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Life gets tough and facebook hogs all my time. I've made a new goal to stay away from facebook more and spend more time soaking up my children (since I know they won't stay this way forever). Which also means I won't spend as much time on here either. But I will be able to update here and there.

And now about Alabama.... Some of you have heard and some haven't. If you want to know what's going on with us check out my other blog www.paynesthename.blogspot.com and if you haven't been invited, please send me an email amber_gher(at)yahoo(dot)com. I will try harder this time to get the invites out. (To be honest I just need to figure out the quickest way).

Thank you for being my friend and for not giving up on me.

Running...

Can someone just up and decide to become a runner?
Let's say this person ALWAYS hated running, or jogging or anything of the sort.
Can they just decide to change?

What if they had an accident and weren't able to use their legs the right way for a while?
Now they can and they want to start new.
Can the hate be changed?
Do you think it's something that's burned in that will always stay the same?

Ok,
So we're talking about me.

Someone tells me I'm not a runner.
I know I used to hate it.
I did have a desire to run a marathon one day.
And since my accident that desire is SOOOOO much stronger.

But, now there are limits (where there weren't any before).
So, the willpower is going to have to be MUCH greater than just a desire.


Exactly HOW much greater?

Breaks my heart (or hers?)

My poor little angel.

My 5 year old daughter is REALLY lashing out. REALLY crying out for attention.

And I thought I was giving it to her.
But today, I had a reality check.
And I'm not giving her the right attention.

She needs to know that I love her.
I'm trying to do that AND raise her to be responsible for herself
(but focusing a little too much on the responsibility part).

This is such a hard thing for a parent.
There is such a fine line.

And then there's that wrench...
I feel abandoned, so I lash out.
She feels abandoned so she lashes out.
BUT, we haven't been abandoned.
It's all sooooo confusing and hard to explain or relate to anyone.


Pray for me?

Busy?

Um, I want to say I have an excuse for not blogging for the last 6 months....
But really, it's just an excuse.


I've been blessed beyond all reason...
I can't quite figure out why.


Sometimes I just feel like I don't deserve any of it,
and I've been so ungrateful.
and spoiled.


And how do I treat those who have helped me get here?




Why do we treat those closest to us with more disrespect than a stranger?
What is a stranger to us, that they are more important?
Why do they get respect?
Why can't I treat the most important people in my life with THAT much respect?

Because it's easy not to.
Because they let me.
Because they love me.

What a way to show love in return. Disrespect.



I tried to teach this lesson to my 7 year old Sunday School class.
BUT, I don't really practice what I preach.
Maybe I should try harder. Like I told them to.



So my goal this week,
Treat my family like strangers.
Respect them.
Love them.
Appreciate them.
Be there for them.


Because really, what's more important to me than them?

Things I've taken for granted...

-being able to put my pants on while standing up!
-being able to chase and catch a running 2 year old.
-being able to clean my whole house from top to bottom in a single day.
-being able to exercise.
-being able to drive a car.
-being able to walk with my kids to the park.
-being able to carry something from one place to another.
-being able to do ALL that's asked of me.

What have you taken for granted lately?

I know I won't take these things for granted ever again. I'll think about how grateful I am that I can, everytime...
I change a poopy diaper, get dressed, have to clean my house, have to chase my child, go to the store, have to walk the dogs, etc.

If your body is working the way it's meant to, you have SO much to be thankful for. If your body is working somewhat for you, you still have so much to be thankful for.

I know I am thankful everyday that I wasn't paralyzed or killed. I'm thankful that I can still somewhat take care of my family and hug my kids and play with them. That I can enjoy the world around me. That I can live!

Pushover

How is it that the whole world seems to know that I'm a pushover...

My 5 year old's little friend came over yesterday and rang the doorbell. and knocked. and rang again. and again!

(I'm hiding in the kitchen pretending not to be home, even though the front door is wide open.)

My daughter then comes upstairs and I realize she's going to notice her friend at the door. I tell her "Sweetheart (daughter), go tell so and so (doorbell ringer) you can't play."

My sweetheart tells so and so she can't play.

Then I hear the dreaded words.... "I want to talk to your mom".


WHY am I so afraid to talk to a 7 year old girl? What power does she have over me?

No, I don't want to talk to her.

But, I realize she will never leave so I go to see what she wants (already knowing fully well what she wants).

S&S "Can sweetheart play?"

Me "No"

S&S "Why?"

Me "She needs to clean her room."

S&S "I'll help her clean."

Me "No (with some other reason)"

S&S (Coming back with a rebuttle for everything I say)

Going back and forth for at least a minute.

DANG she's good!

Me.... CAVING IN.... "FINE, whatever."


How does this happen?

Then it takes 2 hours for me to get her out of my house, and is my daughter's room clean?

Of course not, it's worse than it was before she came.