Thursday, March 25, 2010


Can someone just up and decide to become a runner?
Let's say this person ALWAYS hated running, or jogging or anything of the sort.
Can they just decide to change?

What if they had an accident and weren't able to use their legs the right way for a while?
Now they can and they want to start new.
Can the hate be changed?
Do you think it's something that's burned in that will always stay the same?

So we're talking about me.

Someone tells me I'm not a runner.
I know I used to hate it.
I did have a desire to run a marathon one day.
And since my accident that desire is SOOOOO much stronger.

But, now there are limits (where there weren't any before).
So, the willpower is going to have to be MUCH greater than just a desire.

Exactly HOW much greater?

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Breaks my heart (or hers?)

My poor little angel.

My 5 year old daughter is REALLY lashing out. REALLY crying out for attention.

And I thought I was giving it to her.
But today, I had a reality check.
And I'm not giving her the right attention.

She needs to know that I love her.
I'm trying to do that AND raise her to be responsible for herself
(but focusing a little too much on the responsibility part).

This is such a hard thing for a parent.
There is such a fine line.

And then there's that wrench...
I feel abandoned, so I lash out.
She feels abandoned so she lashes out.
BUT, we haven't been abandoned.
It's all sooooo confusing and hard to explain or relate to anyone.

Pray for me?

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Um, I want to say I have an excuse for not blogging for the last 6 months....
But really, it's just an excuse.

I've been blessed beyond all reason...
I can't quite figure out why.

Sometimes I just feel like I don't deserve any of it,
and I've been so ungrateful.
and spoiled.

And how do I treat those who have helped me get here?

Why do we treat those closest to us with more disrespect than a stranger?
What is a stranger to us, that they are more important?
Why do they get respect?
Why can't I treat the most important people in my life with THAT much respect?

Because it's easy not to.
Because they let me.
Because they love me.

What a way to show love in return. Disrespect.

I tried to teach this lesson to my 7 year old Sunday School class.
BUT, I don't really practice what I preach.
Maybe I should try harder. Like I told them to.

So my goal this week,
Treat my family like strangers.
Respect them.
Love them.
Appreciate them.
Be there for them.

Because really, what's more important to me than them?